Welcome to Earth Baby Saylor!

Breathing as deeply and as controlled as I could manage 

I waddled from the exam room to delivery room #308 with a sheet wrapped around my completely exposed behind.... which I'm not sure why they bother with covering you up because they strip you of all your dignity during delivery. yes, pun intended. 

All those little monitors around my belly were starting to slip off so the nurse had to adjust them once I was settled in bed again. She actually had to continue adjusting the monitors throughout labor because we kept losing the baby's heartbeat. 

7:30 a.m. -  The contractions were starting to pick up some more. We still hadn't made any phone calls and Ty was already 30 minutes late for work. He left momentarily to move the car out of the 5-min parking zone and make a couple important phone calls. One of them being my grandmother. Oh how I wish I could have overheard that conversation! Ty is really bad about explaining things in a way that I can enjoy them too... oh well. I'm not sure who decided to send in the stampede of clipboards, but It was kinda a bad time for me. 

"Haven't I already signed these papers twice?" I mumbled once I could breathe again.

"I'm sorry, there's always paperwork to be done..." said the man without a sympathetic bone in his body. 

The easiest way to put this is I had no clue what I was signing. No I did not read what I was signing. I just skimmed all the papers for the "sign here" "date here" spots as quickly as I could before the next contraction came. Plus, I've been awake and in major pain ALL night and I don't think I could have understood what those papers said even if I did read them. Yeah, whoever thought of sending paperwork in for a very exhausted woman in active labor to coherently sign is totally NUTS! 

Ty came back and all we had to do from that point was wait. ...... wait........wait.......

The nurses all left because there wasn't any more for them to do either. Ty stood next to me and held my hand as I did my best to breathe steady through the contractions. He never really said much during delivery, but he was right there the whole time trying to comfort me. 

The contractions were getting harder now and I was starting to consider the epidural. yes, I admit it, I was imagining that foot long needle poking its way into my spine and felt like perhaps this was a good idea. 

That, my friends, is how completely exhausted I was. No other moment in my entire life have I thought an epidural was a good idea for me. And I was starting to consider asking for one. If the contractions got even slightly worse, I was going to ask for an epidural.

Ty humbly gave me a priesthood blessing and blessed me to know what to do about the epidural and that I could have comfort and that everything would go smoothly. I wanted him to continue with the blessing, but he ended it once another contraction hit. It felt so good and so calming to have him there and I am so blessed to have a husband that is willing and worthy to give me priesthood blessings whenever I ask for them. 

Ok. so I have lost all track of time by this point.  The nurse came in with the doctor to check my cervix again and I was mustering up the courage to ask for the epidural. Buuuuuut... I was already dilated to an EIGHT! good for my cervix, bad for me because I couldn't get the epidural once I passed a 7. Surprisingly I wasn't bummed about not getting the epidural. My body had things under control and I'm pretty tough. As long as I kept progressing as quickly as I was - I would be okay. Labor wouldn't last forever. 

The doctor pulls out this chopstick hooky thing and tells me he is going to break my water. I don't remember if that hurt or not. But let me tell you this, it felt AWFUL sitting in all that warm nasty fluid. It seriously felt like I had peed all over myself and then had to sit in it! gross! 

Now my contractions were so bad I was starting to lose control. The nurse kept coming in and trying to help me breathe through them and telling me to keep my eyes open and focus on something. "You need to keep control, Lindsey, or you're not going to be able to deliver this baby." 

Sometimes I wish I remember how loud I was being. Most of the time I wish I could have controlled how loud I was being. But I was in my own little world at that point, completely and totally oblivious to everything that was happening besides those murderous contractions. 

There were a few times I did open my eyes only to see Ty sitting close to me, holding my hand and looking so nervous and sad. He says he looked that way because he was watching me be in so much pain and he couldn't do anything about it. 

The worst part I can remember about the entire delivery was when I had the equivalent of 3 contractions back-to-back. I had no recovery moment to breathe between those 3. The only words I could manage to get out of my mouth were, "please, make it stop...." 

Next thing I know the nurse is asking me if I feel like I need to push. Well heck if I know what that even feels like. I really had to think about it though. Send my mind away from the pain and try to feel if I needed to push. 

"yes"

Ok! She had me pull my knees up and push a few times and then the doctor came in. Would I normally care to be that exposed? Ab-so-lut-ely! did I care at that moment.... not a bit. 

Now there are more voices in the room all telling me to push. I could make out the doctors voice telling me to just push as hard as I can like I'm trying to poop and that my body is going to want to stop pushing but that it would actually feel less painful to push, push, push. 

So that't what I did. I pushed hard.

The nurse kept pulling my gown up higher and higher to move the heartbeat monitor. She did this probably  5 or so times. They couldn't keep track of the heart beat I thought. But actually my baby's heart rate was dropping. lower and lower. I'm not sure if they turned up the volume on the monitor or I just started listening better, but it was very low. I was so nervous. 

That's when I was remembering my friend that had a baby back in July. There were some complications with her baby's heart rate and in the end she had a c-section. =[ I was not prepared to have that happen to me.

Thankfully, instead, I just had an episiotomy. Ty says my face looked really scared once I saw them pulling out all those scissors and needles and such to make the cut. 

The doctor looked at me, straight in the eyes, and said, "you'r baby's heart rate is getting really low. You're going to have to be super woman and push this baby out right now..."

I think I nodded, or at least I attempted to.

The next couple minutes of pushing were very special. I could actually feel her coming out. I gripped Ty's hand so tightly and pushed with everything I had; even harder than I was pushing before. There were only a few times I stopped pushing to catch my breath. My face was so extremely sweaty I couldn't really open my eyes. 

Suddenly the nurse was placing the blanket up on my chest while the barrage of "push!"s changed into "almost there!"s I looked down at the doctor and asked, "Is she really that close?"

"Yeah! Keep pushing!"

And then she appeared. 

8:51 a.m.

6 lbs 11 oz 

19 inches long.

black hair

long arms

long feet

so extremely beautiful.

It was an amazing feeling. Physically and emotionally I felt so relieved. A very surreal moment for me. She was placed on my chest and all I could see were her eyes staring up at me while a bunch of hands were quickly trying to dry her off. I don't remember if she cried right then. She just stared at me. My body was shaking so much that I felt like she was going to roll right off of me and I would be helpless to catch her. 

A lot of what happened next is all a big blur to me. Ty cut the cord. The doctor delivered my placenta and then stitched me up (which I could feel and hated it). They put me on oxytocin which to the best of my understanding is the same as pitocin which helped my uterus contract more to get all the afterbirth out quicker. I couldn't even have any tylenol yet because I hadn't eaten anything. But I was not prepared for the pain of delivering the afterbirth. I always thought after the baby came out that labor was over, but the contractions hurt just as badly for the next couple hours. 

They gave the baby a bath =] And we used all of the battery left in our camera taking a video of it. That's our explanation for the lack of pictures. We got a few on our phones, but not nearly enough of this very special day. I leaned over and kissed Ty and told him how much I love him while nurse was finishing up with the bathing.  

Every 15 minutes the nurse came in to push on my tummy to help get all the afterbirth out. 

wow, so painful! My whole body was screaming for her to stop but I just had to lie there and let her finish. and then she leaves saying, "I'll be back in 15 minutes to do it again." later she tells me she's really sorry and that she forgets how painful this is for moms because usually they have epidurals and they don't feel that part.

I held my baby again and started nursing her. Kind of tricky. But I had help. Part of my mind was thinking what is she doing??? theres nothing for her inside those things... ha =] 

I felt so gross and exhausted and hungry and thrilled and shocked and hurting and happy.

The nurse finally helped me to the bathroom for a MUCH needed bladder emptying. Can you believe my bladder was so full it was actually causing me noticeable pain above afterbirth contractions? 

Going potty, taking a shower, getting my IV taken out, and putting panties on made me feel like a new person! =] I combed through my hair and was thankful I packed my hairspray. 

I was really feeling good. My tailbone was suuuuper sore. But they finally brought me some breakfast and ty fed it to me while I nursed the baby some more. 

It was then that we decided what to officially name her.

Saylor Marie Williams

Marie comes from my mother's middle name. I wish so badly that she could have shared that day with me. Or that she could share time here on earth with my baby girl, her granddaughter. But I know that my mother, Gina, held my baby and played with her and loved her up in heaven before Saylor came into my arms.

Ty's mom, Kay, was the first to come visit. Later Kent, Ty's dad, came and held Saylor. Everybody kept saying how beautiful she is. Even the doctor said that =] But it's true, she is so beautiful. Mat and Macy, Ty's brother and girlfriend came that day as well. Ty ducked out for a couple minutes to grab a bite to eat and my grandma and grandpa finally arrived!

It was so awesome to see her! She picked me a flower and sat with me, holding Saylor and smiling from ear to ear. She felt really bad that she missed the delivery and wasn't able to be there to help me like I wanted her to. I told her it was alright, that having it be just me and Ty turned out to be a really special experience for us and our new little family. 

My sister Lauretta and her husband TJ also came that night and my Aunt Colene came the next night. My parents and siblings weren't able to come until the next weekend because a lot of them were sick. But it was so fun and special to have so much support and love from our family.

We checked out from the hospital and went home the day after Saylor was born. My grandma made french toast and sausage for breakfast =] (I love french toast) Then she told me that we should take a 4-generation photo. I didn't even realize that we had 4 generations there! It was awesome!

Mary-Ellen - 63   *  Colene - 40   *   Lindsey - 20   *   Saylor - 1 day

My apologies ladies if that's TMI

What a wonderful moment. =] So happy to have so much of my mom surrounding me.

Ty is so proud to be a daddy and loves his baby girl so much. He always wanted a boy, but the way he smiles whenever he sees her and especially when he holds her, I know how happy he is to have Saylor. Every night when he prays he always thanks Heavenly Father for the blessing it is to have Saylor and her wonderful, sweet spirit in our lives. I love being a mom. It's a strange, sort of out-of-body experience for me and there's a LOT to learn. I am so lucky to have such a beautiful little baby. I'm really lucky to have a body that is healthy and privileged to create life here on earth. Being a mother is my calling, I know this for sure now. 

To the delivery room!

So the week of my due date rolls around and I still haven't had any significant contractions. Just those annoying Braxton Hicks ones that sometimes made it hard to breathe. I had my final pregnancy appointment on the 23rd, the day before my due date (August 24th). We found out I was dilated to a 3 and I had my membranes stripped. Ty and I asked a load of questions about delivery and double checking what we needed to do if I started labor on my own. We also asked to clarify what real contractions would feel like and how long I should wait before going to the hospital. Doctor said contractions would be felt in my front, my legs and in my back and that I should wait a few hours after they happen about 5 minutes apart before heading to the hospital. Then the doctor started telling us about the epidural procedure but paused when he noticed a strange look on both our faces and said,

"What? You are planning on having an epidural aren't you???"

So far my plan had been to start labor naturally and go for as long as I could without any drugs, especially that awful, nasty, hurtful, make me gag epidural! (simply getting my blood drawn makes me squirm...I hate needles. Have you even seen the needle used for an epidural??? No body was coming NEAR me with that thing unless I thought I was going to die without it. Death or needle, that was my option.) So we told the doctor our plan and he says, "Ok, we'll see," with a smirk on his face. (oh yeah, like he knew the kind of pain I would willingly take before succumbing to that foot long torture tool.)

Ok, secretly, I would have asked for an epidural if I really felt like I needed one. I'm not that stubborn. But I really was interested in trying to go all naturally. I would try at least, that's all I really wanted. 

The doctor scheduled for me to be induced 4 days later if I didn't go into labor on my own before then. My grandma and grandpa left from Oregon that afternoon so that my grandma could be there to help me through labor. We were super excited to welcome our little one that 4 more days felt like an eternity!

We spent the rest of the day gardening and trying to finish up some laundry and dishes. I finally finished the baby blanket I had been planning the entire pregnancy! (woot woot) It turned out fabulous by the way. Throughout the day I noticed that I was beginning to have some harder contractions. They were really sporadic and uncomfortable, but I wouldn't say painful...not yet at least.

Ty had work early the next morning (friday) but we didn't get to bed until after 10pm. I had a few contractions that woke me up but I tried to be quite and not squirm too much so I wouldn't wake up Ty. But, he was so used to me getting up a hundred times every night to go to the bathroom that I don't think he really noticed any movements anyway. Midnight rolled around and the contractions were starting to pick up. I couldn't sleep anymore because they were closer together and as soon as I would relax enough to fall asleep, on came another one. I got out of bed  and read my "what to expect when you're expecting" book about the difference between false and real labor, then started timing the contractions. They were approximately ten minutes apart. I stayed up for an hour doing this and then prayed that I could pleeeaase just get some sleep. I was so utterly tired, that's all I wanted.

I slept about 30 minutes is all from that point until 4 a.m. when the contractions were starting to get down to business. I had about 5 minutes between contractions and was having a difficult time breathing through them. However, the pain was completely localized in my front! I had no pain whatsoever in my legs or my back. So frustrating. I wanted these contractions to be real but they obviously weren't because they didn't feel the way the doctor said they would.

4:30........ 5:00..........5:30.......... I had successfully woken up Ty with every contraction by this point. Lying down hurt, sitting hurt, standing hurt, walking hurt, stretching hurt...... lets face it, I was in pain.

Normally Ty gets up for work at 5:30 and that's when I told him I thought he should stay home that day and not go to work. He agreed and then rolled over to go back to sleep. (ok, guys, don't just go back to sleep while your wife is having hard contractions... not fair.)

By 6:00 I decided that I should call the doctor. So they guy picks up the phone, I'm crying by now, and I tell him that I'm 40 weeks pregnant today and I think I'm in labor. He surprised me with his response which was,

"Congratulations! Let me call the midwife...can you please hold?"

The Midwife told me it sounded like I was actually in labor and that by this point it's completely up to me when I want to go to the hospital. I was really nervous to go to the hospital because I was so afraid that they were going to take one look at me and say "sorry toots, you only wish you were in real labor. go home and try and sleep."

I WISH I COULD SLEEP! THAT'S ALL I WANTED ANYWAY! I did NOT want to be sent home.

Ty ate some breakfast and got dressed while I packed our bag. (You'd think I would have done that weeks ago) I only packed the really  important things like hairspray, toothbrush, cellphone charger....
(what was i thinking)

My grandparents were staying the night in Caldwell and I thought maybe I should give them a call to tell them we're headed to the hospital, but I honestly thought they were going to send me home, so I didn't call.

We pull in and another car pulls in right beside us. A couple gets out and I notice the girl looks just a pregnant as I do. (mind you it's 7 am) But she's dressed up all cute, hair straightened, make-up perfect and pretty much skipping as she goes into the hospital. I on the other hand look like death warmed over! My hair doesn't look to bad because lets be honest, it doesn't really ever look that bad. (thank you hair for being so reliable and cooperative for me) I don't have an ounce of make up on and my eyes look so completely SUNK into baggy black holes, not to mention red from some crying. I'm slightly hunched over and holding onto Ty and walking very slowly into the hospital behind her.
Well, that girl got into the elevator and turned around to hold the door for us but noticed that we had stopped half way to handle another contraction. HA! the look on her face as she was reaching for the 'hold' button but allowing the doors to close anyway was PRICELESS!! She looked so scared when she saw me!

(later we found out she was going in to be induced. But then got one look at me and suddenly didn't look so confident anymore. =] )

We got checked in, taken to the exam room, took all my clothes off and wrapped that buttless gown around myself and then got examined. The nurse says, "oh yeah! you're dilated to like a 5-6! Let's get you to the delivery room!"

she left.
I looked at Ty.
Ty looked at me.
".......I think you should call my grandma now......."

Nine Months Ago

Nine months ago Ty and I had the most amazing surprise! On December 21st 2011 I had Ty run to the store to buy a home-pregnancy-test mostly so I could put the worry to rest about the possibility of being pregnant. After using it I left it on the counter and closed the door to join Ty on the couch where he was timing out 3 minutes before we could check the results. I started to have a lot of butterflies, which didn't make sense because there was no way I could possibly be pregnant.

We crept to the bathroom and opened the door and 

THERE IT WAS!! 

Those two pretty pink lines that mean only one thing...............

WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!!!

I immediately threw my hands over my mouth, shoved my back against the wall and gasped "no way!" I felt so excited and so afraid at the same time. Still being a teenager and all I almost felt like we'd be in trouble or something for getting pregnant. (silly me) But one look at my dear sweet husbands face erased all bad feelings. I'll never forget that wonderful expression. I only saw it for a few seconds before he threw his arms around me and started kissing me through his laughter. But it was pure happiness, pure love. 

I took another (more accurate) test in the morning just to be extra sure. (haha, the second/digital test said to wait three minutes for results and the "yes+" appeared after less than 60 seconds)    =]

Well, Ty and I were both registered to begin school in just a couple weeks. We took a trip to Utah for New Years as well as our good friends wedding and then drove up to Caldwell to spill the wondrous news to my dad.. or should I say soon-to-be Grandpa Hansen??? 

It was sort of a strange announcement for him because he was expecting his 7th child in a month from that time. On the car ride back to Rexburg is when the morning sickness really started to set in. 

School started that week and I missed nearly all my classes. After much praying we decided that it would be best if I dropped my classes. I kept one online class but spent the majority of each day at home while Ty was on campus. 

Here's my tummy sometime in the month of January on a very cold snowy morning. 

I was so excited to welcome that cute baby bump....but had nothing to show for it quite yet.

But there IS in fact a little baby swimming around in there =]

Later in March I started to develop somewhat of a bump.

Sadly, I can't fairly blame that bump on the baby. 

Only a few more weeks from this point did the morning sickness finally start to fade. Man, I don't think I've ever felt so gross in my entire life! No thank you to the long, depressing winter that brought a lot of sad days to me either. There were a lot of emotional struggles during those last few winter months. Thank goodness spring was close! 

I was 17 weeks along when Ty and I laid down to go to bed one night and I felt a tiny, little faint kick. The first of them all! It took me a could seconds to realize what I had felt, and I was slightly unsure about it because it could very easily have been classified as a gas bubble. But it was in fact my baby moving around in my tummy. =] Oh what a wonderful feeling! As the weeks went on I tried and tried for Ty to feel the baby moving. But no matter how hard we tried he couldn't feel anything but my heartbeat. 

April awaited the BIG news of whether our baby was a boy or a girl. 

I had already had several dreams about the baby, all of which she was a girl in. I can say that I did have a feeling that I was carrying a girl. Though I couldn't really explain why I felt that way. All of my dreams about her were nightmares that nearly put me in tears. Wish that could have been different. Ty wants 12 sons though, so you could definitely safely say he was rooting for a son. 

But....... no such luck

* * * * * I t ' s    a   G i r l ! * * * * * 

We got a little dvd of the ultrasound, and you could clearly see that she was a girl, but Ty always acted unconvinced. 

I don't remember what week it was, but Ty finally felt our baby girl moving. His face light up so fast and he couldn't stop telling everybody he knew! Such a proud daddy. =]

For Mothers day Ty and I took some silly pregnant pictures and sent them out to all the mothers in our lives. So this picture captures me at almost 6 months pregnant. 

Ty and I had our first date on May 31st 2011, and on that same day of 2012 we got to see our baby girl's face for the first time! =] she was super stubborn and had her head shoved waayyy too far down to get any good picture. But for a split second on the screen I got a good look at our baby's lips (you cant see them in this picture) and how curvy and wonderful they looked! She definitely inherited her daddy's lips only way more feminine looking. 

(June 10th 2012)

Man I really wish I had done better at taking pictures! At 7 1/2 months pregnant the swelling started. I hadn't had any really up until this point and it usually only was noticeable in the evening. But there were a few times when my hands would get REALLY itchy and puffy and once my wedding ring actually cut off my circulation. Serves me right for being too stubborn to take it off back when it might have come off.  

By this point the baby moved around so much that I was actually becoming nauseated from it. She would push her bum out one side of my tummy and one of her limbs out the other side and you could see these two protrusions that were painful enough to leave bruises! Nothing of color though. After a while I would put one hand on each side and push her back together so she wouldn't hurt me so badly. 

For my 20th birthday, one month before the due date, Ty and I spent the weekend back home with my family. We went to the lake and had a GREAT time =] Birthdays have always been a rather huge deal to me, especially my own birthday. But this year felt so different. Either I have finally grown up enough to realize that a birthday is actually just one day and not an entire week (or month) or I really was head over heels in love with the best gift of all that I had only one more month to wait for. I'm thinking the second is more accurate. 

I feel bad that this is the final picture I have of my tummy at only 8 months pregnant. You'd think that all those days of just sitting around waiting for this baby to finally arrive I would have taken the time to snap a few pictures of my exploding midsection.... 

Pregnancy was definitely wonderful though. No, the stretch marks don't look pretty, my clothes still don't fit right, and my body seems it will never be the same, I wouldn't trade any of it for the blessing of being a mother. 

Stay tuned for all the secrets and grimy details of the final day of pregnancy 

and the first day of motherhood