Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Welcome to Earth Baby Saylor!

Breathing as deeply and as controlled as I could manage 
I waddled from the exam room to delivery room #308 with a sheet wrapped around my completely exposed behind.... which I'm not sure why they bother with covering you up because they strip you of all your dignity during delivery. yes, pun intended. 
All those little monitors around my belly were starting to slip off so the nurse had to adjust them once I was settled in bed again. She actually had to continue adjusting the monitors throughout labor because we kept losing the baby's heartbeat. 

7:30 a.m. -  The contractions were starting to pick up some more. We still hadn't made any phone calls and Ty was already 30 minutes late for work. He left momentarily to move the car out of the 5-min parking zone and make a couple important phone calls. One of them being my grandmother. Oh how I wish I could have overheard that conversation! Ty is really bad about explaining things in a way that I can enjoy them too... oh well. I'm not sure who decided to send in the stampede of clipboards, but It was kinda a bad time for me. 

"Haven't I already signed these papers twice?" I mumbled once I could breathe again.
"I'm sorry, there's always paperwork to be done..." said the man without a sympathetic bone in his body. 

The easiest way to put this is I had no clue what I was signing. No I did not read what I was signing. I just skimmed all the papers for the "sign here" "date here" spots as quickly as I could before the next contraction came. Plus, I've been awake and in major pain ALL night and I don't think I could have understood what those papers said even if I did read them. Yeah, whoever thought of sending paperwork in for a very exhausted woman in active labor to coherently sign is totally NUTS! 

Ty came back and all we had to do from that point was wait. ...... wait........wait.......
The nurses all left because there wasn't any more for them to do either. Ty stood next to me and held my hand as I did my best to breathe steady through the contractions. He never really said much during delivery, but he was right there the whole time trying to comfort me. 
The contractions were getting harder now and I was starting to consider the epidural. yes, I admit it, I was imagining that foot long needle poking its way into my spine and felt like perhaps this was a good idea. 

That, my friends, is how completely exhausted I was. No other moment in my entire life have I thought an epidural was a good idea for me. And I was starting to consider asking for one. If the contractions got even slightly worse, I was going to ask for an epidural.

Ty humbly gave me a priesthood blessing and blessed me to know what to do about the epidural and that I could have comfort and that everything would go smoothly. I wanted him to continue with the blessing, but he ended it once another contraction hit. It felt so good and so calming to have him there and I am so blessed to have a husband that is willing and worthy to give me priesthood blessings whenever I ask for them. 

Ok. so I have lost all track of time by this point.  The nurse came in with the doctor to check my cervix again and I was mustering up the courage to ask for the epidural. Buuuuuut... I was already dilated to an EIGHT! good for my cervix, bad for me because I couldn't get the epidural once I passed a 7. Surprisingly I wasn't bummed about not getting the epidural. My body had things under control and I'm pretty tough. As long as I kept progressing as quickly as I was - I would be okay. Labor wouldn't last forever. 

The doctor pulls out this chopstick hooky thing and tells me he is going to break my water. I don't remember if that hurt or not. But let me tell you this, it felt AWFUL sitting in all that warm nasty fluid. It seriously felt like I had peed all over myself and then had to sit in it! gross! 

Now my contractions were so bad I was starting to lose control. The nurse kept coming in and trying to help me breathe through them and telling me to keep my eyes open and focus on something. "You need to keep control, Lindsey, or you're not going to be able to deliver this baby." 

Sometimes I wish I remember how loud I was being. Most of the time I wish I could have controlled how loud I was being. But I was in my own little world at that point, completely and totally oblivious to everything that was happening besides those murderous contractions. 

There were a few times I did open my eyes only to see Ty sitting close to me, holding my hand and looking so nervous and sad. He says he looked that way because he was watching me be in so much pain and he couldn't do anything about it. 

The worst part I can remember about the entire delivery was when I had the equivalent of 3 contractions back-to-back. I had no recovery moment to breathe between those 3. The only words I could manage to get out of my mouth were, "please, make it stop...." 

Next thing I know the nurse is asking me if I feel like I need to push. Well heck if I know what that even feels like. I really had to think about it though. Send my mind away from the pain and try to feel if I needed to push. 


Ok! She had me pull my knees up and push a few times and then the doctor came in. Would I normally care to be that exposed? Ab-so-lut-ely! did I care at that moment.... not a bit. 

Now there are more voices in the room all telling me to push. I could make out the doctors voice telling me to just push as hard as I can like I'm trying to poop and that my body is going to want to stop pushing but that it would actually feel less painful to push, push, push. 

So that't what I did. I pushed hard.

The nurse kept pulling my gown up higher and higher to move the heartbeat monitor. She did this probably  5 or so times. They couldn't keep track of the heart beat I thought. But actually my baby's heart rate was dropping. lower and lower. I'm not sure if they turned up the volume on the monitor or I just started listening better, but it was very low. I was so nervous. 

That's when I was remembering my friend that had a baby back in July. There were some complications with her baby's heart rate and in the end she had a c-section. =[ I was not prepared to have that happen to me.

Thankfully, instead, I just had an episiotomy. Ty says my face looked really scared once I saw them pulling out all those scissors and needles and such to make the cut. 

The doctor looked at me, straight in the eyes, and said, "you'r baby's heart rate is getting really low. You're going to have to be super woman and push this baby out right now..."
I think I nodded, or at least I attempted to.

The next couple minutes of pushing were very special. I could actually feel her coming out. I gripped Ty's hand so tightly and pushed with everything I had; even harder than I was pushing before. There were only a few times I stopped pushing to catch my breath. My face was so extremely sweaty I couldn't really open my eyes. 

Suddenly the nurse was placing the blanket up on my chest while the barrage of "push!"s changed into "almost there!"s I looked down at the doctor and asked, "Is she really that close?"
"Yeah! Keep pushing!"

And then she appeared. 
8:51 a.m.
6 lbs 11 oz 
19 inches long.
black hair
long arms
long feet
so extremely beautiful.

It was an amazing feeling. Physically and emotionally I felt so relieved. A very surreal moment for me. She was placed on my chest and all I could see were her eyes staring up at me while a bunch of hands were quickly trying to dry her off. I don't remember if she cried right then. She just stared at me. My body was shaking so much that I felt like she was going to roll right off of me and I would be helpless to catch her. 

A lot of what happened next is all a big blur to me. Ty cut the cord. The doctor delivered my placenta and then stitched me up (which I could feel and hated it). They put me on oxytocin which to the best of my understanding is the same as pitocin which helped my uterus contract more to get all the afterbirth out quicker. I couldn't even have any tylenol yet because I hadn't eaten anything. But I was not prepared for the pain of delivering the afterbirth. I always thought after the baby came out that labor was over, but the contractions hurt just as badly for the next couple hours. 

They gave the baby a bath =] And we used all of the battery left in our camera taking a video of it. That's our explanation for the lack of pictures. We got a few on our phones, but not nearly enough of this very special day. I leaned over and kissed Ty and told him how much I love him while nurse was finishing up with the bathing.  

Every 15 minutes the nurse came in to push on my tummy to help get all the afterbirth out. 
wow, so painful! My whole body was screaming for her to stop but I just had to lie there and let her finish. and then she leaves saying, "I'll be back in 15 minutes to do it again." later she tells me she's really sorry and that she forgets how painful this is for moms because usually they have epidurals and they don't feel that part.

I held my baby again and started nursing her. Kind of tricky. But I had help. Part of my mind was thinking what is she doing??? theres nothing for her inside those things... ha =] 

I felt so gross and exhausted and hungry and thrilled and shocked and hurting and happy.

The nurse finally helped me to the bathroom for a MUCH needed bladder emptying. Can you believe my bladder was so full it was actually causing me noticeable pain above afterbirth contractions? 
Going potty, taking a shower, getting my IV taken out, and putting panties on made me feel like a new person! =] I combed through my hair and was thankful I packed my hairspray. 

I was really feeling good. My tailbone was suuuuper sore. But they finally brought me some breakfast and ty fed it to me while I nursed the baby some more. 

It was then that we decided what to officially name her.

Saylor Marie Williams

Marie comes from my mother's middle name. I wish so badly that she could have shared that day with me. Or that she could share time here on earth with my baby girl, her granddaughter. But I know that my mother, Gina, held my baby and played with her and loved her up in heaven before Saylor came into my arms.

Ty's mom, Kay, was the first to come visit. Later Kent, Ty's dad, came and held Saylor. Everybody kept saying how beautiful she is. Even the doctor said that =] But it's true, she is so beautiful. Mat and Macy, Ty's brother and girlfriend came that day as well. Ty ducked out for a couple minutes to grab a bite to eat and my grandma and grandpa finally arrived!

It was so awesome to see her! She picked me a flower and sat with me, holding Saylor and smiling from ear to ear. She felt really bad that she missed the delivery and wasn't able to be there to help me like I wanted her to. I told her it was alright, that having it be just me and Ty turned out to be a really special experience for us and our new little family. 

My sister Lauretta and her husband TJ also came that night and my Aunt Colene came the next night. My parents and siblings weren't able to come until the next weekend because a lot of them were sick. But it was so fun and special to have so much support and love from our family.

We checked out from the hospital and went home the day after Saylor was born. My grandma made french toast and sausage for breakfast =] (I love french toast) Then she told me that we should take a 4-generation photo. I didn't even realize that we had 4 generations there! It was awesome!

Mary-Ellen - 63   *  Colene - 40   *   Lindsey - 20   *   Saylor - 1 day
My apologies ladies if that's TMI

What a wonderful moment. =] So happy to have so much of my mom surrounding me.

Ty is so proud to be a daddy and loves his baby girl so much. He always wanted a boy, but the way he smiles whenever he sees her and especially when he holds her, I know how happy he is to have Saylor. Every night when he prays he always thanks Heavenly Father for the blessing it is to have Saylor and her wonderful, sweet spirit in our lives. I love being a mom. It's a strange, sort of out-of-body experience for me and there's a LOT to learn. I am so lucky to have such a beautiful little baby. I'm really lucky to have a body that is healthy and privileged to create life here on earth. Being a mother is my calling, I know this for sure now. 


  1. So sweet, Lindsey! I had a similar experience after Collette was born - I thought the pain would all be gone, and I was horrified when it didn't stop. Those "after-baby" contractions are a killer. I even had an epidural for part of my labor (not enough of it... haha! 22 hours with contractions every 3-4 minutes... and then only 8 hours with an epidural.) but they turned it off when I had to push... so I could still feel the contractions after! So glad Saylor is here! She's a cutie, that's for sure!

  2. What a beautiful story, and family! Congratulations once again.

  3. Births are each so special.... babies even more so... and becoming a mommy is a happily yummy....happy... and giggley journey. Love it.